Code Name: M-O-M

This week I am going to the annual BlogHer conference in San Diego. I’m really excited about this, however, with about 3000 women in attendance, I thought it might be a little challenging to try to meet everyone there. This being the case, I thought I should try to familiarize myself with the names of at least some of them, so when I see a badge pass me with a name I recognize, I could say, “Hey! Hey, I know you!” and they will look at me like I am a stalker and run in the other direction.

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The problem is, just about everyone who blogs, does so incognito. Considering we mommy bloggers often write about our children’s bathroom habits, our husbands’ bathroom habits, and the bathroom habits of our mothers-in-law, it is often in our best interest and innate desire to live another day to do ten loads of laundry, not to let anyone know who we really are.

That’s why most of the mom bloggers have code names.

I, for example, am known on Twitter as @onerebelmom.

This, of course, comes from the name of my book, “Rebel without a Minivan.” Yes, I know @rebelmom or @lostinsuburbia (the name of my blog and column) would have been better Twitter names for me, but some other dang moms got there first. Not that I’m bitter. Much.

Anyway, I decided the best way to remember the bloggers I wanted to meet, was to group them together.

In the first group, we have the martini mommies. These fabulous bloggers know that the Absolut best way to get through potty training is with a lot of patience, extra underwear, and a drink in hand. These bloggers include @BringMommyVodka, her friend @MommyWantsVodka, their BFF @VodkaMom, and the less particular about what she drinks, @Mommy4Cocktails.

I decided if I meet these girls, I’m going to introduce them to my friend @MommyNeedsRehab.

I thought the Vodka girls might be more fun to party with then the second group, who quite honestly scare the heck out of me. That would be @MadMommy, @CrazyMommie, @ScaryMommy and @StarkRavingMadM. Of course we all need to be somewhat nuts to have kids, anyway, so maybe they have the right idea. Still, it might behoove them to hang out with @AngerManagementMommy, or at the very least, do a couple of shots with @VodkaMom to help them chill out.

There are a couple of moms with names that I have no idea what they mean. I’m pretty sure @Mommynanibooboo, @Hoo_dee_hoo, @Minkymoo, @Bookieboo, @Ooph and @chookooloonks were all either named by their toddlers, or they sneezed while they were typing in their twitter ID’s and it stuck. I almost ended up as @onerebelmoo that way, which would have been pretty bad because everyone would have assumed I was a mad cow.

Then there is the group that I find most intimidating. Just when you think you are doing a pretty good job as a mom, along comes @BestMommy, @BetterMommy and the biggest, baddest mommy of all; @BestMommyEver. Who can compete with that? I’m better off being a mad cow.

Since I am @onerebelmom, though, I should probably try to connect with @RenegadeMoms and @SecretAgentMom. The three of us can spy on @TheBloggess and steal her secrets for getting millions of blog followers.

Of course, the one thing all these mom bloggers have in common is the fact that they are fantastic women, awesome bloggers and quite honestly, I would be thrilled to meet any of them.

Well, maybe not @SerialKillerMommy.

Note: Tracy Beckerman writes the blog and syndicated humor column, “Lost in Suburbia.” and is the author of the book, “Rebel without a Minivan: Observations on Life in the ‘Burbs.” She hopes all the bloggers she wrote about here will still talk to her when she meets them at BlogHer.

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