REALITY BITES: Resolutions That “Don’t Bite Off More Than MAMAs Can Chew"

We’re sick of pretending like we’re going to join a gym, lose the same 10 lbs. as we’ve pledged before and finally fit into our skinny jeans.  Really?  Who cares?  Not us, or we’d do it.  So, how about just resolving to do what we can do? Let’s embrace the Spanks and stop dumping so many unrealistic expectations on ourselves all at once – to stop smoking, stop swearing, stop eating crap, oh my.  To find yourself, to find the love of your life, to win the lottery…and on and on? Paaaaleeeeease. Stop. Take a deep breath and realize that January 1st is just one day – so, we don’t have to “bite off more than we can chew.”  Instead, just try to nibble away at some things all year long.

1. stop setting double digit weight loss goals – keep expectations low and consider any missing ounces an accomplishment

2. say “no” a lot more – not just to your kids and their whining, but to everyone who asks you to do stuff you really don’t want to do or have time to do

3. don’t wear sweats every day – change it up and make sure you still fit into your fat jeans

4. throw out the granny panties in your drawer – good grief, we all have them and some of us have ones with holes…comfy, shmumfy, they’re heinous so dump ’em

5. use paper plates when you have “friends” over – you’ll be happy you don’t have to do dishes and they’ll be happy they don’t have to help you

6. take a holiday from waxing (or doing anything painful to yourself in the name of beauty) – that’s right, instead of dreaming of a spa day, give yourself a real break and go au naturel for awhile in 2011

7. don’t listen to radio Disney when your kids aren’t in the car – it’s not cool, it’s kind of embarrassing that we know the words to Justin Bieber, so change the channel, pump up the volume and rock out to your faves because you ROCK MAMA

8. stop driving around looking for the closest parking spot – instead, park in the farthest spot and consider it your “exercise”

9. consider “warming up dinner” as the same as cooking dinner – no one is preparing julienned vegetables when you’ve got three kids to get to and fro, homework and scrub downs every night, so consider heating up left-overs or buying prepared foods the new “home-cooked” meal – it counts

10. don’t pretend to have a headache – take 2 aspirin, close your eyes and remember what you actually like about the person in bed next to you

Sometimes we’ve got to cut ourselves some slack, ladies.  We do it all – sometimes with grace and sometimes like a klutz, but we still get it done.  Start the year off resolved to take things day by day – know that you’re doing the best you can and you’re going to try some stuff and you’re going to blow off some stuff.  But at the end of the day, when you tuck your kids in safe and sound, know you did a good job that day.  And, let that be enough.  We hope that 2012 brings you a lot of good days, MAMAS!  Happy New Year.


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