Category Archives: Bradi and Terry – MyWorkButterfly

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Parenting Quandary… I Need Your Help!

So much has transpired since last week’s “Weekly Wings”… the snow has melted, trees have fallen, power has been lost and restored, (in most areas in the Northeast) and I am STILL trying desperately to mentor my own son.

If you did not read last week’s edition, I will bring you up to speed. In short, son wants iPhone, mom says, “I’M NOT BUYING”, son shovels snow for money and in the end mom is proud. BUT, it was not the “mom taught son the value of a dollar” story that I thought it would be.

You are now up to speed.

Son since texts mom from his perfectly functional, not even 6-month old Blackberry while mom is traveling later that week. No, the text did not read, “I miss you, please come home, Grandma is torturing me.” It read just this: (in my son’s words). “Snow melted I go round neighborhood n rake leaves 4 $. Used dad’s leaf blower n made 50 bucks! Between raking n shoveling I can buy iPhone!!!!!”

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Here’s where I desperately NEED YOUR HELP! I wrote you last week, saying firmly, that I would never buy an 11 yr. old an iPhone. But, do I stand my ground when this same 11 yr. old asks if he can use his own money whereas I am merely act as a transportation vehicle to and from the store? I am in a quandary. Jack has learned work ethic and for that I am very proud. He displayed determination and drive and a bit of an entrepreneurial edge to boot.
So my quandary herein lies… Do I let my son buy himself an iPhone with his hard-earned dough? Or, do I stick to my initial belief that it is not necessary for an 11 yr. old to have an iPhone? PLEASE share your thoughts and suggestions on what this mom (that’d be me) is to do? How do we teach our children the value of a dollar while offering them a life well earned and well lived?

Please, help a mother out,

Bradi

Co-Founder and Mother

Work/Life Advocate

MyWorkButterfly.com

Entrepreneur of ALL Entrepreneurs!

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The Entrepreneur’s Group, formed by member Jeanette Lauture, was one of the very first groups to gather on Butterfly. Jeanette wrote, “Let’s share good business practices and make our individual business even more successful.” Three hundred Butterfly members have since joined “Entrepreneurs” aiming to connect as visionaries, inventors, and pioneers. One such Butterfly mom is Siggy Flicker.

Siggy Flicker is a 44-year old mother of two children, she is an ex-wife and a fiancée, she is a sister, a daughter, and she is a professional New York City Matchmaker & Life Coach! Siggy’s greatest passion in life has been to help change the lives of others… so much so that the VH1 network has created a show for Siggy and her expertise on a new 1-hour reality TV segment called, “Why am I Still Single?” Airing this Sunday, October 16th at 9pm EST on VH1, I invite you to get to know Siggy, a fellow Butterfly mom, member and entrepreneur.

I believe the late Steve Jobs would have greatly admired the Entrepreneur’s group (Siggy and Jeanette) because Steve Jobs was just that: a great visionary, inventor and a pioneer. Steve was, as you know, the founder, chairman, and chief executive officer of Apple Inc. He IS too like you (believe it), an entrepreneur who follows dreams – one who provides new tools for others to succeed. Steve has given us the gift of the personal computer and has changed the face of mobile communications forever.

As an entrepreneur, what do you provide? With Butterfly I hope to provide a global platform for smart and savvy mothers to join forces in the pursuit of work/life harmony. And, while I cannot offer even a morsel of Steve’s technological genius or match you with a man, I proudly call myself an entrepreneur. Thank you to Steve Jobs, Siggy Flicker and Jeanette Lauture for your inspiration.

Bradi

Co-Founder and Mother

Work/Life Advocate

MyWorkButterfly.com

Follow us on Twitter @Butterflymoms

Anniversary of Sept 11th – An inner strength rebuilt

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As you are well aware, the 10th anniversary of the attacks on America took place this past September 11th. Like most, I sat idol and watched the children, no older than my own, read their daddy’s names aloud, and proud, in memory. When tragedy strikes, one often remembers the exact moment and location, or even the smell of the brand new carpet that one was sitting upon. I remember kneeling down to fold the laundry on my cool basement floor in front of the television – my son Jack had just drifted off for his morning nap. I was all of two footie-pajamas in before my hands transferred from the precious little clothes I was folding to cover my gaping mouth. While Jack continued to sleep peacefully upstairs, I watched in horror as the events of 9/11 unfolded before my very eyes.

I am so deeply sorry to all of the wives, children, and parents, whose men (and women) did not return home that night- like mine did from some 50 blocks away. I cannot begin to imagine the devastation that all of the victims and their families endured. I would be lying if I said I could. Although, this past Sunday, as I watched the memorial of 9/11, this time from a new house, with my 11-year old son Jack by my side, I saw faces of hope rather than faces of fear. I witnessed an inner-strength- one that rebuilds, remarries and some day, remembers with peace.

Can't Win

Sometimes, no matter what you do you just can’t win. Since we’ve moved to our new location I’ve had a problem getting on-time deliveries from a certain trucking company.

In my old location I could order parts online and they would arrive midday the next day and I could still fix the vehicle and get it back to the customer  in the same day. Since our move, the new driver would arrive close to 5pm. I did everything in my power to try to get him to bring it earlier. I utilized my usual arsenal which is a mix of flirtation, badgering, beseeching, bantering, teasing and flat out begging. None of it worked, he basically put his hand up, shut me down, said he’d try and returned the next day at 4:40. Never one to give up, I was still in the process of working this out when  my business partner (a very energetic manly man) ran into him in the local bodega (deli, convenience store for you non New Yorkers).  As the story goes, they hung out, had a couple of beers and jibber-jabbered . Yesterday he came by here and  they had a beer together.

Today he showed up with a delivery at 11:30. Yes 11:30.

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I don’t know why I’m surprised by this, my partner has many ‘bromances” that I couldn’t begin to be involved in or even want to for that matter. I guess I shouldn’t be bothered by it since some of

time I’m the one to move things forward and sometimes it’s him. I guess that’s what a partnership

is but it still stings a little.

Questions: dontgetwrenched@gmail.com

Are you living the dream?

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Did you ever thumb through a magazine and become engrossed in an editorial feature about so and so following their dreams? About how this one or that one uprooted their family to sell hats in the majestic Virgin Islands, make and sell jewelry along the sunny gold coast of Australia? We immerse ourselves in these features and think, “I wish I could” or “Some day that will be me.” These men, women, parents and children are living out their dreams.

I met a family this past weekend where the wife, originally from Miami, and the husband, originally from Connecticut, currently reside with their young son in Jerusalem. They collectively own an online kitchen hardware supply company – something that can be done from anywhere in the world. They chose Jerusalem… for work and for life.

If the opportunity presented itself would you take it? Do you envision working in a vacation destination, spending days at the beach and nights running your own quaint bakery? Could you imagine the crowds lined up at the door for s’mores or chocolate fondue night? The smile on your face, while your family pitched in and where customers felt more like friends? The opportunity is in fact here for you! Now is your chance to own Café Bacio. This upscale lite fare and dessert locale is nestled in Long Beach Island, along the Jersey Shore. For inquires and details, leave a post for Butterfly member, Nancy Harrison. Buy it, live it and fulfill your dream.

Are YOU Career Lazy?

By MyWorkButtfly.com Career Coach, Dorothy Tannahill-Moran:

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Warning!  I’m about to speak in code.  We like to think of ourselves as: “not interested in making big money” or “not overly ambitious” or “focused more on life than work” or what?  Being lazy is something we don’t like to admit to ourselves much less our own mother (who will love us no matter what except being lazy).  We will substitute other words and rationalization for our behavior.  You think we can’t tell but we can.  You’re lazy and second to bad body odor, no one really wants to around that even if you’re charming.  OK, maybe if you’re charming but only then.

“If you are in the ranks of people that I’m describing, you need to pay attention to what I’m about to share.  Someone needs to give it to you on the chin.

You may have reached a point in your adult life where you realized you didn’t care if you got ahead or excelled on the job or wanted to get a promotion or even much of a salary.  Lazy is about effort and you discovered you simply didn’t want to put in any. You were willing to forego these things as a tradeoff.  As a lazy person, you have learned to do things to try to hide the blatant truth about yourself.  You have tried to look like you didn’t care if others passed you by.  Perhaps you even attempted to look like those things were too materialistic.  The great thing about rationalization is that it seems to sound good and even logistical to some extent.  To you perhaps.

I’m here to expose your ugly truth.  We really can tell.  As much as lazy people think they’ve hid the truth about themselves, at some level the rest of us know.  We pretty much let you keep thinking that we can’t see what you’re all about.  You didn’t ask “does this rationalization make me look lazy?”

Here is some of the other code this signifies.  It says that while you might truly just not want to do anything, it says you haven’t checked in to life.  You don’t get it.  We’re at our best when we are productive and contributing.  We’re even better when we’re so passionate about our work that we can’t wait to get to it again.  It says you might be afraid to try or might not be able to stand the failure that comes with striving.  What you’re missing is that it will make you feel great about yourself.  Not because you kept up with other people or met some type of social standard.  You would feel great because you had something you strived to achieve and did it.

As a co-worker, you aren’t our first pick to work with.  You can’t be trusted.  If I know you’re lazy, I’m not sure what you will or won’t do.  Many times, in your attempt to look like something you aren’t, you may inflate what you know or will do.  Most of the time you don’t know or won’t do.  Your rationalizations are filed under “Ignore”.  You have preordained your outcome because of your “lazy-speak” we can all see through and because, even if you’re charming, what good is working with someone you can’t trust?  The best people I’ve had a chance to work with are generally running faster than I am.

Where does this leave us?  If you’re lazy, you’re missing out on a big chunk of life.  I recognize that some people think there is a magical dividing line between work and life but I’m here to say the line doesn’t exist.  This is your life or at least a big part of it.  Stop trying to fool yourself.  The effort you think will be so painful will be the best time of your life, if you just let it.  Try some career growth.  Fall in love with your work.”

Summer Sanders U.S. Olympic Swimmer & Mom

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Summer congers up images of sand, surf, swimming, sailing and perhaps the thought of, some serious sweating. Summer is a season that I most enjoy (except when I have to work inside on the most magnificent of days) and Summer is the name of a woman I so admire. I had the great pleasure of interviewing Summer Sanders, U.S. Olympic swimmer, Celebrity Apprentice contestant, TV Personality and mom of two. Call it ironic but, Summer won gold medals in the 200-meter BUTTERFLY- clearly we were destined to meet.

During MyWorkButterfly’s interview, Summer revealed how hard it was to leave her son and daughter for one month while working and helping to raise money as an Ambassador for her much adored not-for-profit, Right to Play. “Right to Play improves the lives of children in some of the most disadvantaged areas of the world by using the power of sport and play for development, health and peace.” How’s that for mentoring her children?

Use Summer to inspire your own wishes and dreams, know that your children will love you if your work or passion should lead you away temporarily. Get rid of the guilt and hook up with Summer and follow your dreams of parenting and productivity.

Become inspired too by the wonderful blogs from fellow Butterfly moms:
Music to Job Search by, by Carol Camerino
Following Through, by Julie Cole
Child Safety Tips, by Jill Starishevsky

Inspirationally yours,
Bradi
Co-Founder and Mother
Work/Life Advocate
MyWorkButterfly.com
Follow us on Twitter @Butterflymoms
Fan us on Facebook (Nicole Richie is a Fan!)

Top 50 of ForbesWoman.com's Best Cities for Working Mothers

Did you ever wonder what might be the best possible city to work in and raise your family? What city offers the biggest potential to earn money, has accessible childcare, healthcare and affordable living? Wonder no more. ForbesWoman.com compiled the results and we’d like to know if you agree with their findings. If you already live and work in one of the cities mentioned below, than you must be pumped. However, if your current city of choice is nowhere to be found… consider an alternative for better work/life satisfaction.

Top 50 of ForbesWoman.com’s Best Cities for Working Mothers

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Sources: ACCRA; Bureau of Labor Statistics; Cities: Ranked & Rated, by Bert Sperling and Peter Sander, Second Edition, Frommer’s (2007);
U.S. Census Bureau; U.S. Department of Justice; healthgrades.com.

See ForbesWoman.com’s complete list here

On the flip-side, did you ever wonder what company may offer the most conducive environment for a working mom? Interestingly enough, Dell ranked among the top places to work for working moms with family-friendly benefits. The complete list was compiled by Working Mother magazine. If your current employer made the cut, let us know if you agree with Working Mothers’ findings. Or, if your current employer was omitted from this hit list and you feel in your heart of hearts that it should have won out, let us know too! The following list was based on a companies commitment to family-friendly initiatives, benefits, flexibility and telecommuting offerings, to name a few.

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See Working Mother’s complete list here
If your work environment is not conducive to your life environment, consider an alternative. If your home is not located in or around a market that will help you to succeed as a working mother, consider an alternative. You have the power to make a happy and prosperous life!

Bradi
Co-founder
Work/Life Advocate
MyWorkButterfly.com
Follow us on twitter@Butterflymoms
Fan us on Facebook

Bradi Nathan
Co-Founder
MyWorkButterfly.com

MyWorkButterfly.com
@BradiNathan
201.396.7770

What Do You HOPE For?

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 Boys Hope Girls Hope is a non-profit, now in 16 cities and two foreign countries, that invites students from difficult, at-risk backgrounds to live in a home that provides a safe environment, financial support, academic tutoring, mentoring and opportunities to give back to the community.  If you’ve watched Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (and perhaps shed a tear), you know that Ty Pennington and his design team set out to build an 11,000 square foot place for the Girls Hope program in Baltimore, Maryland, which just accepted its first seven members.  It was the Boys Hope students who called upon Ty and his team with the “hope” of bringing the girls in their community the same educational and emotional support that they have experienced. It was moving. It was real. It was good TV.  And, it got us thinking…

As a girl (I’d still like to refer to myself as a girl- so, just go with it) what do we HOPE for?

  1. We hope to lead by example
  2. We hope to show inner beauty in a world consumed by outward appearances
  3. We hope to prove that we are smart, savvy AND strong
  4. We hope too that we live to see equal pay for equal work
  5. We hope that our children will become better versions of us
  6. We hope that our kids recognize the importance of a solid education and mentoring
  7. We hope that our daughters and sons continue give back to their community as we girls (that’d be us in case you forgot the reference) lead by example

 

Sometimes you have to do more than hope.  What do you hope for?

Every ending brings with it a brand-new beginning

Memorial Day 2011 has officially come and gone- a United States federal holiday commemorating U.S. soldiers who died while in the military service. We proudly extend a special acknowledgment to the Military Moms group within the Butterfly community! Memorial Day also marks many beginnings (as well as endings): school, graduations, summer vacations, camp… and, for Oprah Winfrey, the end of a 25-year reign as the “Queen” of TV.

“Every ending brings with it a brand-new beginning.” Oprah

This brilliant, inspiring, Oprah quote aptly applies to the end of job, career or relationship. We should hold onto these words as we pass through life (as Martha Beck, Oprah’s insightful guru, suggests) and focus on any positives that come from a negative. I trust that then we, our children and Oprah, will be more than just fine. Long-live the “Queen!”

Additional words of wisdom brought to you by the members of the Butterfly community:

Feeding Time at the Zoo, by Julie Cole
 
A Working Mother’s Commitment to Living Unplugged, by Julie Pereyra
 
Parenting Your Teen: Let Go and Let Them Grow, by Fern Weis

Please continue to share your commentary in the blog section, join many of the groups to further connect and network, as you begin a new…. (Fill in the blank!)